


Maybe I Regret

by sejun



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Add Like Three Years To Their Age, Alternate Universe, Angst, Break Up, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Post-Break Up, Wow, i hate myself honestly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-21 03:48:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11349243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sejun/pseuds/sejun
Summary: Hyungseob never thought it'll hurt this much to see Woojin again.





	Maybe I Regret

Maybe Hyungseob didn't expect it to hurt this much when he saw Woojin again. His hair was still the same shade of red, slightly faded, but nonetheless still attractive (although, it's arguable that everything that Woojin does is attractive to him). How long has it been? Hyungseob lost count. his days were merely just days after Woojin walked out of his life. Nothing more than just numbered days, counting down to the end of this lifetime. Life lost meaning for him. it was rather ironic, considering that he was the one that walked away first, then why is he still hung up over a boy he supposedly left? 

 

Hyungseob was not ready to make small talk with Woojin. He can’t stand the thought that he used to know every small detail about this red haired boy’s life, and now, he has absolutely no clue about what went down in his life the past couple of months. He tucked his cap even lower, with his head hung down, speed walking pass Woojin.

 

A familiar figure doesn’t just go unnoticed. “Hyungseob?” That same voice. That voice that Hyungseob wanted to wake up to for the rest of his life. Some things aren’t meant to be but it never occured to him that Woojin and him will fall under that sub-category. It’s like how two separate strings get tangled but eventually untangled, their lives were tangled together until they decided to put an end to all of that. The reason behind the break up was rather, well, dumb, but what happened, happened. 

  
They were like every other couple, nothing too out of the ordinary. But, it’s the ordinary that counts. It isn’t the extravagant things that only get remembered in life, sure, those are acts of love too, but not everyday can be extravagant and it’s the consistency in life that matters as time pass. It’s the consistency with efforts that keeps two people in love. 

 

His favourite memory wasn’t even the fancy dinner that they had in the ferris wheel, which was probably the most expensive thing ever. A year with Woojin but his favourite memory wasn’t even when they were together. He wasn’t sure if that’s where everything started, but what he knows is that he’s been in love with Woojin for as long as he can remember. 

 

He doesn’t quite remember why and how they ended up by the Han River, but they did. It was a full moon that night, with the stars glistening in the sky but to Hyungseob, nothing can ever quite match the light he sees in Woojin’s eyes. Both their cheeks were tainted a faint shade of pink from the alcohol intake. There were still bottles of Soju lying around the grass where they sat by each other, facing the river. 

 

It’s been hours but Woojin’s still teary eyed. Hyungseob lost track of how many bottles of Soju they had, neither of them was a good drinker but, for Woojin, he doesn’t mind. None of what Woojin said the past few hours went into Hyungseob’s head. He hated Woojin’s last relationship, he hated the fact that Youngmin and him dated, he had no idea how he survived six months of watching the two together when he’s been in love with Woojin as far as he can remember. 

 

“I miss him. I’ll miss someone calling me every single day just to check on me.” _Haven’t I been doing that for you for the past years?_ “I’ll miss the way his eyes curves when he smiles, that stupid, goofy, dumb smile of his.” _Do you not like how I smile?_ “I’ll miss how much he cared about me, I might never feel this way again?” _Do i not make you feel cared for?_

 

“Maybe you should stop caring so much about him since he left you for someone else. Maybe you can care about me instead…” Both of them were rather drunk, but Woojin more than Hyungseob. But with that, there was no more filter with the things they’re saying. 

 

Woojin shifted his body, moving to lay down on Hyungseob’s lap before speaking up again. “I do… I probably always cared more for you than I ever did for Youngmin but Euiwoong and you have been a thing for so long I can’t even do anything about what I feel for you but forget about it…” Woojin closed his eyes, and before Hyungseob could reply anything, he drifted off to sleep. 

 

That caught Hyungseob off guard. He agreed to go out with Euiwoong for dates only because he thought Woojin would never return his feelings of affection towards him. He was dumbfounded. Maybe it was the influence of alcohol, or maybe he wanted to do this for a long time, he lowered his body a little, planting a soft kiss on Woojin’s lips while whispering under his breath, “It’s always been you too.” 

 

A thousand other moments that they shared flashed through Hyungseob’s mind. He remembers every single date that they went on, the small actions in their daily life that he still misses greatly, the fights that they’ve had. Flashbacks of various memories went through his mind before he drifted to the day of the break up. 

 

He would be lying if he said he didn’t regret what he said, but maybe it’s better off this way, without him in Woojin’s life. At least, that’s what Hyungseob thinks. He feels like Woojin’s happier without him and all the good times that they shared are all overshadowed by the various huge arguments they’ve had, albeit mundane sometimes, they fought so often. 

 

“Stop assuming that my life would be better of without you.”

 

“But, my life will be better off without you.” 

 

“If that’s what you want then, I’ll leave and never come back.”

 

“Not that you staying ever mattered anyways.”

 

That was the last real conversation they exchanged aside from everything related to them moving out of the apartment that they shared. Since that day, they never saw or spoke to each other ever again. Call it childish, but, both of them had too strong of a pride and ego to give in. But, because of that strong pride and ego, no one fought for each other and they just let each other walk out of the other’s life, so easily. 

 

_It’s almost as if nothing they shared ever mattered._

 

He snapped out of his thought bubble when he saw Woojin approach him. He couldn’t avoid talking to him anymore, as much as he would rather not acknowledge his existence.Woojin stopped in front of him, and the both of them just stared at each other for a moment. The silence was deafening, no one spoke up but there was so much tension and emotions that could be felt in the air. 

 

Hyungseob broke the silence first. 

 

“So, it’s been quite sometime, how are you?” 

 

“In your exact words back then, better off without you.”

 

In that moment, Hyungseob could swear he heard his heart shattered and broken into a thousand pieces. 

**Author's Note:**

> i was bored and wanted to write an one shot on jinseob, which is also at a friend's request. (hi n***, i*y...) don't mind any grammar errors since i hardly proof read.
> 
> this is also translated into vietnamese at https://www.wattpad.com/story/115991310-transfic-jinseob-maybe-i-regret


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